Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work (and what will!)

Having problems with your New Year’s Resolutions? How many times have you made them and then failed to keep them after only a few days, or in my case, hours?

In The Science of Willpower, Kelly McGonigal explains why your willpower is not the problem, your resolutions are. Typically, Kelly suggests, we resolve to do what we think we should do or what others or society expects us to do. Like lose weight or go to the gym.

All the willpower in the world will not hold us fast to those resolutions if they hold no meaning for us. Be brutally honest, do you really want to go to the gym? If being healthy truly is meaningful to you, find other more meaningful ways to do it. Perhaps shopping for fruits and vegetables at a locally run store and belly dancing. Or go on long walks in our gorgeous Scottish countryside with a friend.

Instead of forcing yourself to do something you think you should, ask yourself, what is truly meaningful to me? Kelly puts it this way:

“A very practical way is to ask: At the end of 2014 — on January 1st, 2015, looking backwards — what are you seriously going to be grateful that you did? Is there a change you know that you’re going to be glad you made? What would that feel like? That can tap into something that feels really authentic.”

Here’s a 30 second challenge; grab a pen and a piece of paper and write a list of things that are seriously meaningful to you, things you will be so grateful you did a year from now. There are no limits! Get scribbling. What did you come up with?

So forget the gym or the diet - you didn’t want to do that anyway and instead write that book, learn to sing, shop local, ramble in the hills, call your mother every week, or take up crochet like your grandma did. You’ll be happy that you did and you might just stick to it!

HJ Blenkinsop PhD is a writer, researcher, web tinkerer, social media meddler, mythology nut, world traveler, and author of Story Master and The Penny Well. She also blogs about life on Chicken Road and is committed to the pursuit of happiness! @hjblenkinsop

3 Tips to Beat the Blues this Blue Monday!

It’s cold and dark. Festive fun has faded into the dim and distant past and the rays of summer seem a million miles away, making mid January  a hot zone of sadness and depression. Here are three things you can do to shake things up and beat the blues this January.

1. Get some vitamin D

The skin creates vitamin D when exposed to UV rays from the sun and in the depths of mid January in Scotland, we all know the sun is hiding! We need vitamin D for bone and cell growth, as well as immune function among others. The great news is you can get more vitamin D through the foods you eat. Sources include oily fish and fortified dairy, juices or cereals. Or take a vitamin D supplement.

2. Dance like no one’s watching!

Shake up your physiology and move your body. Tony Robbins in ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ goes as far as to say that each emotion is linked to the way we move our body. So a slouched posture will lead to slouchy emotions, like sadness and depression. Put on your favourite song or video and dance like no one’s watching! We highly recommend singing into your hair brush while you are at it for maximum impact.

 

3. Call a friend

Over the festive period we can get really busy with various functions and events and at the same time trying to finish up work projects. That email from your old school pal goes unanswered. Or you didn’t get the chance to call your aunty back. Make a point to connect with people who care about you. Reach out to those in your social circle who make you feel good. Being a part of a community where we feel accepted and approved off fosters feelings of wellbeing.

HJ Blenkinsop PhD is a writer, researcher, web tinkerer, social media meddler, mythology nut, world traveler, and author of Story Master and The Penny Well. She also blogs about life on Chicken Road and is committed to the pursuit of happiness! @hjblenkinsop

The Raptor Filmz Short Scottish Film Festival!

        

From 5pm to 10pm
Saturday 11th January 2014
The Howden Park Centre, Livingston, EH54 6AE
15 films in total!
140 minutes running time!
Question the film-makers!
Vote for your favourite films for the audience prize!

5pm : Part One £7.50/£5

5pm: Doorz & Q&A
5:30pm: Broken Souls & Q&A
6:10pm: Finish

20 minute Break

6:30pm : Part Two £7.50/£5

6:30pm: Scottish Short Film Competition
8:30pm : Audience Vote Counting & Prize Giving
9pm : Networking at the bar!

Both Parts : £10/£7.50

Prebook tickets by calling
01506 777666
or online at
http://www.howdenparkcentre.co.uk/eve...
Or just google "Howden Raptor" for more info!

What’s Your Battle Cry? Beat the Blues in 30 Seconds a Day

Noh Dragon by Megume

Soothsayers prophesy that January is the most depressing month of the year. And the most depressing day in that most morose of months is the dreaded Blue Monday. The middle Monday of the most morbid month. And that dastardly day is coming up. Next Monday I believe...

What’s to be done?

Shall we be overcome and drown in our own Haagen Dazs? Pull the foisty covers over our heads and call in sick? Compete with the cat in a sleeping contest? (Your cat, incidentally, is not sleeping - she has her head in your melted ice cream.)

NAY! I tell you, there is a better way!

A trixy way. A magical way. It is a simple way. But like many simple, magic, trixy things, it is not necessarily easy…

However, this simple-magic-trixy way can be a weapon in your arsenal, and aid you in defeating the mother of all monsters, the dragon of depression - and set you up for the best year of your life. Do you want that? Do you want this year to be better than the last? And the one before? Do you want this year to be the best yet? Then we must fight for it.

They say that if you don’t know the name of your enemy, you can not defeat it. The name of this mighty dragon of depression I shall reveal to you. Hush now, this must be whispered loudly enough for you all to hear. The name of that most malevolent of monsters is…is…. Debbie Downer!

I know, I could have come up with something scarily exotic from Norse legend like Jörmungandr. But it doesn’t start with a D and I like alliteration. OK, the truth is, I don’t know how to pronounce Jörmungandr, and if we want to slay it, we have to say it. Properly.

Now form yourself into a maddening mob and grab your nearest flaming torch or pitchfork - we have some rabble to rouse here. Whip yourself up into a mind-boggling frenzy! We shall prance like tigers, pounce like ninjas and frolic like a merry band of sea otters! Frivolity aside (just for a second) we really are fighting for our lives.

Many experts far more sensible than me have established that real, long lasting change comes from making small incremental changes in our daily lives. In our habits of action and thought.  Tony Robbins uses the analogy of flying an aircraft. Small degree by degree changes are made on rout and the aircraft ends up on the other side of the world. There is power and magic here. The sneaky kind. The kind we will use. And we shall begin in this very instant.

Are you with me? Swords everyone! Light sabers are not only acceptable but encouraged. Your ice cream spoon will do at a push! Rise it above your head and bellow your battle cry!

What? No battle cry?

We all need our own battle cry. Words have power, your own words have the most power over you. You must create your own battle cry. Make it powerful! Make it magical! Make it up!

It can be religious or profane. Ridiculous or profound. It can be funny or serious, but it MUST make you feel powerful. You can call on the angels, the Gods or the sea otters to help you. Call them with power, and they will come, in a winged chorus, a blinding light or a smashing of abalone shells. What will arise with them is your most magnificent self.

As Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles" said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?”

Indeed, who are you not “to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”

Now, ponder that battle cry. Make it good. Make it pack a punch. A punch big enough to topple a dragon. THE dragon. Debbie Downer, the Dragon of Depression. Your battle cry is the power in your sword, the energy in your light saber and the magic in your spoon. Use it to pick yourself up, cheer yourself up, and remind you of your true, “brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous” self.

Now shout it out (in your head if you’re on the bus) for 30 seconds.

Congratulations! You’re done. That was easy wasn’t it?

Check back for more 30 second tricks to get you through Blue Monday, Morose Month and build the best year of your life.

HJ Blenkinsop PhD is a writer, researcher, web tinkerer, social media meddler, mythology nut, world traveler, and author of Story Master and The Penny Well. She also blogs about life on Chicken Road and is committed to the pursuit of happiness! @hjblenkinsop








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